Lessons In Revenge
by Skandron
Summary: After ten long years Raphael is back in town, but if his brother's think finding a way to repair the past will be easy ... they've got another thing coming.  Even the best laid plans can backfire.  Mating Season\TCEST\Raph Centric


Wrapped in shadow and stillness, Raphael waits. Beneath the heavy prickle of his gaze humanity moves about. Heads down, hunched shoulders they glance nervously over their shoulders and pick up the pace - if they even sense his presence at all. A flash of white teeth in the darkness, a silent grin and he moves on. After so many years it's just a game … effortless. He streaks above their heads, barely a flicker in the night and slides across the city beneath the moon's amber gaze. He turns his attention to the city's bloated belly … hunting.

Eau du dumpster, smells like home. Back on old turf where the scum had always been thickest. Rubbish and car exhaust, rain on hot bitumen thick in his snout. He sighs and scans the cityscape, lets the breeze tug his bandanna with pleading fingers. These are old patrol grounds … familiar routes that apparently still get frequent use. It changes things. It'll have to be a quick job … he's not ready for anything more than these old scents and spaces. Maybe once he's caught the lowlife he's trailed here. Maybe not.

The city is so different. There's no problem walking around in broad daylight anymore. Enough aliens and wierdos walk the streets now to make him no more than a passing curiosity, but Raph isn't interested in announcing his arrival. There are a few people in town he needs to find and - _Shit_, others he needs to avoid.

He senses them coming long before there's any movement. They come closer than he would have liked, but he's not afraid of being seen, he's too good at this now. Over the years the ninja in him has evolved into something more subtle and deadly. Something closer to what his father had always tried to teach him. He suspects that somewhere out there Splinter is in equal parts pride and frustration with him … but Raphael had never tried to be the perfect student. That was never his place. Sometimes he wonders what his place had ever been and then dismisses what could lead to an old pattern and darker thoughts.

He can hear their muted steps, the familiar pad of feet against concrete as they almost fly over the rooftops together … he's missed the sound but the normality of the scene makes his guts ache … nothing has changed for them. Nothing at all. He doesn't want to feel this sickening uncertainty … old insecurities scratching at the walls of his dark composure … _they never needed me_.

One pauses briefly, a flicker of light from reflected eyes and Raph whispers a curse, _should have known_, breathes deep and fades his presence into the background. The shadow blinks and vanishes with a flick of bandanna tails, leaving the skyline clear again. Raph doesn't move for a long time, passes the minutes with memories and bittersweet nostalgia, everything blending together and moving though him like clouds on the wind. Later he sees a fresh flicker and nods to himself.

_Predictable._

The silhouette of his brother scans the shadows once more before turning and vanishing for real this time.

_Not tonight, Leo._

Raph goes in the opposite direction. He finds familiar paths, a glimpse of chiseled mortar. What could have passed for a teenagers scratched heart, letters pitted and faded from time and rain. He can't read them anymore, but his fingers trace the lines as if each were limned in glass shards. The pieces still make him bleed but the anger has faded. Time doesn't heal all. It only muffles and veils. Being alone by himself is worse than being alone amongst his brothers ... _almost_. In a moment of spite he digs the tip of his sai into the brick and is satisfied as the childish engraving comes away in one solid chip, crushing easily beneath his heel.

There's no pleasure in touching these remnants of the past, just an emptiness that echoes back at him down the years. He doesn't like the way it grips him in aching teeth.

Had Leo sensed him in his moment of weakness? He wasn't sure, but its better not to underestimate.

He moves on.

* * *

><p>Leo wakes uncomfortable and wary, the soft sounds of technology are muttering in the background. Plaintive bleeping and a muted, gentle whirring as machines spin to action on schedule to run their diagnostics. Luminous monitors flare to life, bleaching colours from the room and sheening the olive shoulder at his side in pewter curves. The sense of dislocation creases his brow and his grip tightens against his brothers hip. Even after all these years its still strange to wake up in the monochromatic wash of Don's apartment where artificial light was a constant. It made him crave the sun, warm golden light, heat that made you sweat and drowse. But thinking of that only made him think of Raphael.<p>

_Basking at the farmhouse until his skin is burning hot and the pond is icy torture - wrestling to see who tests the water first, rough laughter, the shock and indignation … pondweed on his head and his brothers wicked grin as he pounces - his tongue is like a brand against his skin … in his mouth ..._-

The pain flared, raw and aching and he breathed slow and deep, letting it seep through his consciousness, a slow poison. Its a unique blend, guilt, regret, love, failure … an intensity that steals his breath away and leaves him trembling. In his arms Don's breathing alters, sensing the change, sensing his pain. A languid stretch and Don's pressing into him sleepily, the curves of his shell gleaming as he turns over.

'Leo?'

'I'm fine.' he says softly and Don blinks, wakes more fully and sits up uncertainly to trace the evidence of moisture on Leo's cheeks.

'Leo, what's wrong?'

Leonardo touched his face in confusion, his fingers coming away damp. 'I don't know.' he whispered. 'Earlier I thought I -'

But Don is looking at him with those eyes, worried and drawn, brown pools of compassion and he lets it trail away mid sentence and strokes his brothers cheek gently.

'It's nothing. Just a dream.'

'Don't think about it.' Don murmurs and Leo smiles faintly, despite the pain. They've come to know each other so well. Don knows not to pry any deeper … because it won't help. He's grateful for these small mercies.

Don leans down and kisses him then drags his brother into his arms, clutching possessively. Leo melds against him, weary in ways that only add to Don's reasons for losing sleep these days. There's so much he can't say. Talking about it only carves deeper lines into his brother's guilt-wracked face. And Don is scared … because Leo grips him back just as tightly, just as desperately and he wonders what Leo would say, what Leo would DO if he told his brother that he'd sensed Raph tonight as well. He says nothing, clutches his lover closer until he can hear the deep, even breathing that tells him its safe to let the pain slide down his cheeks. The tears burn and his chest is tight with self-disgust … but Leo's breath is warm and sweet against his neck and eventually he's lulled by this false security. Guilt plagues his dreams, he wonders if either of them have slept properly in ten long years.

* * *

><p>Michelangelo calls to tell them he has another book lined up for publish, excited and proud and eager to draw his reclusive brothers out into the light for the celebration. Don glances at Leo, his brothers quiet eyes trained on the pages of a book he hasn't turned in over half an hour and agrees to brave the crowds. Leo glances up at the echoed shriek of joy down the phone and smiles a real smile and Don knows he's made the right choice. They don't see Mikey nearly enough these days. Their little brother had hit the big time with his books and the whirl of social life he'd gained from notoriety. Living above ground agreed with him and if Don wished they got to see him more often he understood that this was important too - the youngest needed to find his own path in life. As important as Raphael finding his. Thankfully Mikey was only a short drive away, or a phonecall. Raph on the other hand ...<p>

Later he'll corner his little brother and pose the question. He's been mulling it over for the last couple of years but the last few months have decided him. Don doesn't like change much - not to his routines and his space … but Leo needs this, he can feel it. And there's only so much time he can spend with his lover with the various defence force contracts he's committed to.

This isolation … Leo is sinking away, slipping slowly through his fingers with every year that passes. Because as much as Don hates to admit it … Raphael was a big chunk of Leo's soul, of Mikey's and his own. The strange lonely silence that fell when he disappeared has left hollow places in each of them and no matter the consequences he cant stand the echoes of that rough voice anymore, filling time and space that's a decade empty, and still as achingly absent as that first week when they realised Raph was serious this time. That he wasn't coming home. Leaving all of them to come to terms with something that should never have happened, something that couldn't be controlled.

* * *

><p>There's a storm coming. A shadow pauses on a familiar rooftop to breathe the night air. Across the road is a window he's visited too many times to count and behind it he can see the face of an old friend. He contemplates leaping down to say hello but there's an uneasy tingle on the back of his neck that doesn't bode well. In ten years the most he's passed with his family are a few phonecalls, usually through Mikey or Casey. He'd never intended on leaving for so long, but two years had turned into three, one serial killer leading to a network of evil men that had taken him five years to track down and eliminate. The last one had been running from him for the last three years and he was finally starting to catch up.<p>

This was no time to lose focus.

Thunder rumbles ominously overhead.

The air smells fresh and energised.

Raph moves on as the first heavy drops slap his fedora.

Storm is here.

* * *

><p>The storm is here.<p>

He stands on the rooftop in the dripping rain, his breathing ragged. The shellcell buzzes insistently against his hip, ignored as water seeps down his muscles, turning his bandanna into a clinging wet rag against his skin - a sensation he's always hated with a passion. The wall is rough beneath his fingers and the new gouge in the brickwork mocks him. The damage is at least a week old …

Leonardo closes his eyes tightly and feels the notched hole made by a sharp pointed weapon.

The cell goes still, the steady patter of rain fading in the roaring silence of his mind.

_Raphael._

* * *

><p>Casey can only flinch when he turns and finds pure fury standing there.<p>

'Leo!'

The ninja sweeps past him, eyes wild and Casey stands back until the turtle emerges from his empty room, disappointment so stark on his face that it bruises his heart.

'He isn't here, Leo.'

Leonardo takes a calming breath, passes his hands over his eyes and when he takes it away the calm mask is back in place, but his eyes are bleak.

'I _know_he's in town, Casey. You're telling me he hasn't been here?'

There's tension in the air and Casey suddenly feels like he's walking a dangerous line.

'C'mon, Leo. You know I'd call if he had.' he holds his hands up helplessly and a chill runs down his spine as unblinking obsidian eyes measure him. There are times when his old friend disappears and something else takes its place … something cold and watchful with the dangerous intensity of a predator. A ninja. _A killer._

There's a long moment of silence and he starts to wonder if Leo will believe him, realises suddenly how far his friend has slipped and caves.

'He sent a letter though, if you could call it that.'

Leo's eyes snap to his with a dangerous glitter and it's all Casey can do to turn his back and rummage for the rumpled postcard in his kitchen drawer. It's only in his hand for an instant before Leo's moved, _blurred_, and the paper is between green fingers.

_Passing through in a few days. Keep it on the low.  
>R<em>

Casey watches Leo rub a thumb over the familiar scrawl and swallows.

'I was going to tell Mikey at the party later. I honestly didn't know he was already back, Leo. I swear he hasn't been here.'

Leo looks at him finally. 'I'm sorry Casey. I haven't meant to be rude … I just -'

Casey dared to clap the ninja's shoulder gently. 'Hey, don't worry about it.' his voice dropped. 'I miss him too.'

Leo turns and walks to the window.

'If you hear anything else -?'

Casey nodded. 'I'll let you know if he shows up Leo, you have my word.'

A flicker of a smile, a grateful nod and then he's gone. Casey slumps into the couch, his legs like jelly and curses the stubbornness of certain turtles.

* * *

><p>Mikey loves the book signings. The crush of eager fans, smiling faces and stuttered adoration. It's all a big performance - none of them know who he really is beneath the shell, but its fun and sometimes he meets someone interesting. Women of all species have been throwing themselves at him ever since his first best seller, it isn't something he's ever felt completely comfortable with, but eventually he figures he'll bump into the right one and maybe his apartment won't seem so empty.<p>

Excitement buzzes through the crowd as he sits and smiles, promising to do a reading later and begins. By the time he's halfway through his hand is aching and his publisher has gone in search of coffee - loaded with milk, sugar and cinnamon or he'd never get it down. He could never handle the oozing black tar Don preferred these days.

'Who do I make it out to?' he asks.

'Raph.' Someone says and Mike freezes, looks up and the disappointment is jarring. It's just a human in a green jacket. He signs the book without thinking, 'Mikey' instead of his usual full name and hands it over, watching the human walk away.

He's distracted in the middle of signing the next one, because the guy in the green jacket passes his book to a figure in a long coat, just outside the doors. Mikey stands up so fast the table skids forward a foot and the people in the line jump back, but by the time he pushes to the doorway the figure is gone.

The man in the green jacket swears in shock when the blue eyed turtle grabs his lapels and demands to know who he gave the book to. All he can do is show the fifty he was paid.

'He wore a thick scarf and a hat.' The guy says, 'but his eyes were really yellow … like golden.'

Michelangelo ignores his fans and the stream of people moving around him until his publisher returns to tug him back into the shop with worried smiles and assurances to the confused crowd. The rest of the event feels like torture ...

_Raph, you coward._

* * *

><p>A phonecall later that night.<p>

'You guys are late. You're still coming aren't you? I don't want to go to this thing by myself.'

'Sorry, Mikey. We'll definitely be there, Leo's just-'

'Raph's back, right?'

'You- What? How do you-'

'I think he was at my book signing today - the big jerk paid someone to stand in line. I know he's got beef with you and Leo but why is he avoiding _me_as well?' The youngest demanded in frustration.

'I guess he knows you'll try to talk him into staying.' Don's reply is quiet. They all know how much Mikey's missed this particular brother over the long years.

'So, what's the plan?' Michelangelo demanded. There was no question in his mind that there would be one. He was right.

'Leo thinks he'll visit Splinters grave and I agree.'

Mike nods to himself. 'Ambush?'

Don hesitates and Mike knows its going to be harsh.

'We can talk through the details after your celebration.'

Mike snorts. 'Screw the celebration … if we miss him this time it could be another ten years before he comes back - if he ever does.'

Don pauses, speaks a few words to Leo.

'We're not missing your big night, Mikey. I've already got some sensors in place and Casey says he'll call if Raph shows. Hopefully it won't be necessary. You never know he may crash the event to say hi.'

Mike blinks at the blatant coddling and then his eyes narrow. 'Yeah _right_, he didn't have the balls to show up to a book-signing but he's going to rock up to a party and say hi? Don't treat me like an idiot, Donnie.'

Don backpedals and Mikey instantly regrets his tone. This is hard. It's not Don's fault.

'Uh … sorry,bro.'

'Don't be, this isn't easy for any of us.'

'I'll see you tonight?'

'Yeah.'

* * *

><p>The party takes too long. Mikey gives his little speech, accepts the praise and downs a champagne to settle his stomach. He's waited for this event for weeks and now that its here all he can think about is his idiotic brother … how much he misses him and wishes the big lug was here. Even more frustrating when you know the jerk is in town and deliberately avoiding everyone. He smiles brightly and manages to get his publisher talking to a handsome young man in editing and slips away to talk to his brothers.<p>

It's still odd to see each other in clothes … tailored suits that sit comfortably over the smooth curves of their shells, somehow avoiding making them look too stocky. Don's at ease in human clothes by now - he's spent more time in meetings dealing with human sensibilities. Leo looks uncomfortable but he generally preferred Japanese styles when he had a choice. The pair of them look good together but there are clear shadows beneath Leo's eyes and Don can't seem to stop studying the eldest when he's not looking.

'Things still quiet?'

Don shrugs lightly and manages a smile. 'Nothing yet. We'll have to move fast if the sensors trigger but at least we don't have to stand there all night.'

Mikey nods, relieved and turns to mingle with his other friends. April & Casey are there too and they smile openly as he joins them. Mikey points Casey at the buffet and then does his best to help April break in her new shoes on the dancefloor. He tries not to think about anything at all.

* * *

><p>Mike shrugs. 'So how are we doing this? I mean you know he's not going to stick around long enough to sort everything out.'<p>

Leo doesn't look up, his gaze fixed on the black glass coffee table and the image reflected back at him, dark eyes and cold light.

Don sits back, looks around at the apartment that has been his and Leo's home ever since the world had changed and accepted strange as the new normal. It's a good size, but nowhere near large enough for four. And if Michelangelo is right ...

'We're going to need somewhere to keep him.' Don says slowly.

Mike looks at Leo as if expecting some kind of argument but when nothing is forthcoming he nods.

'I was thinking of moving, I saw a good place last week. Big enough for all of us if I take the place above it too and get some stairs put in. I can get the papers signed tomorrow.' he hesitates. 'Are you guys coming? I mean, it'll be like old times and I kinda miss hanging out.'

Don smiles in relief and Leo looks up with a nod.

Mike grins. Now all they needed was for Raph to realise how stupid he was being and get over himself. He ignores a flicker of doubt and thinks of the place he has in mind. Big enough for the three of them and an enraged Raphael? His grin fades a little.

'This thing'll have to be built like Fort Knox.'

Don shakes his head and his eyes move to the box he had delivered earlier.

'I'll have to make some special changes to the building security but I've already got something in mind. I'd rather not use it unless I absolutely have to though. It'll just make him even harder to reason with.'

Leo stands. 'I'll try to talk to him first. I don't want to use force unless its absolutely necessary.'

They nod and Leo drifts away to look down through the glass walls onto the city glittering below. Somewhere out there not far away, his brother is thinking of him. He can feel it, a warm tingle on the back of his neck, almost a caress, but the feeling brings him no comfort. What he's contemplating will be seen as the worst betrayal. He's not sure his brother will forgive him, but if that's the case then maybe they'll finally be even. It's not the way he wants to do things, but the eldest has a bad feeling his brother won't give him much choice. Besides, Raph's had ten long years to come around on his own.

* * *

><p>Casey is damn near in tears when Raph appears in his window and the turtle feels a strong pang of guilt. He'd never assumed that Casey might really need him as a friend, he'd always thought it was kind of clear that things were the other way around. When Case is hugging him so hard he knows there'll be bruises he realises he could have been wrong. April isn't home and Raph can't help feel a bit of relief. One thing at a time.<p>

It's like old times … cept Casey's … older of course. He wonders if its noticeable yet how little he's aged in turn, but neither say anything. They crack a few beers, catch up. It's a good night. He leaves the moment Casey tries to steer the conversation to his brothers, slipping out when his friends back is turned. Watches Casey slump in defeat from the building across the road and then the lights go out and he moves on. He doesn't want to disappoint his oldest friend any more than he has to.

* * *

><p>'Casey? What's up?'<p>

'He just left, Don.'

'Raph? Where is he going?'

'I tried to call earlier but he was watching me too closely. I think Leo's right though. He mentioned visiting Splinter but I don't know if he's going tonight or later.'

Don sighs. 'Well, at least we have that much. Thanks Casey.'

'No problem. Do you need any help talkin' him round?'

Don hesitates, but its better that Casey not know the plan …

'We'll be fine. It's better if we handle him ourselves, but we'll let you know how it goes. Anyway, you spent all day helping us move. Get some rest.'

Leo is already strapping on his swords when he hangs up. The sensors are going off.

* * *

><p>Splinter's grave. It's in a nice part of central park, surrounded by trees and bushes, though no clear marker shows the location. A grave from before the time freaks were allowed to roam the streets. Raph goes to feel some sort of connection with his father and stands there feeling hollow instead. The dirt beneath his hand has no answers for him.<p>

The last time he stood here was the day he'd left ten years ago. It's not a moment he wants to remember on top of missing his father. Then Leo steps out of the damn shadows and he realises his mistake. Coming here was too predictable and the place has thrown him off. Normally he would have sensed his brother before he got too close.

'Leo.' he growls. 'Should have known.'

The eldest stops a few feet away. He looks too thin, Raph thinks, then realises he's now taller than the eldest. That throws him off even more. How much has changed since he left?

'Hey Raph.'

Raph doesn't move but that voice rolls over him, _through him_, like a drug. It's difficult to resist the pull that's always been there but he's more focused than he used to be and far more in control of his emotions. He crouches by the grave instead, buys some time to think by placing the two slightly bruised roses he'd bought earlier. He'd never bought roses before. They're kind of ostentatious but Raph thinks sensei would approve of the rich rich red.

'What do you want, bro?'

There's no point trying to escape now that Leo's found him. His brother is faster and the ground here is too exposed.

'To talk.' The eldest speaks softly, his expression guardedly neutral. Raph almost smiles. Even after all these years he can still read his brother like a book.

'Let's just cut the crap, shall we? You're gonna ask me to hang around this time and I'm just gonna say no. Case closed.' The eldest frowns, but before he can start asking questions Raph throws him a clue. 'I'm just here lookin' for someone. A killer. Soon as I find him I'm headin' out again. This ain't a social call.'

A long pause and Raph glances out of the corner of his eye. Leo's hands are curling into tight fists.

'I can't convince you to stay for a while?' His tone is rigidly even.

It's tempting. Almost. He misses them all … Leo most of all. But the reality is that things have changed and Leo knows it.

'I don't think that's a good idea bro.'

'Why?'

Raph shoots him a frustrated look and pulls his long black coat tighter, turns to go.

'You know why.'

He never hears Leo move, just stops at the grip on his shoulder, digging into the fabric and his muscles so tightly it hurts.

'We can work it out, Raph. Alot can change in ten years. Just give it a chance-'

The taller tugs his shoulder free and turns to face him. For a long minute they stand face to face and then Leo looks away, his eyes closing tightly as if fighting something. His body sways ever so slightly in Raph's direction. The small movement makes golden eyes narrow.

'Yeah, right.' Raph tells him bitterly. 'You're like a damn addict, Leo, and it ain't even real.' he hisses.

Leo meets his eyes and the pain is stark enough to match the well of hurt within him, but this isn't the way. Being together is what brought all this shit about. True to form, Leo doesn't give up.

'Raph please. Don thinks if we just let it run its course that everything will balance out, find its own equilibrium-'.

Raph interrupts him with a bitter laugh.

'That's the best you've got? Hang around so I can watch you and Donnie play happy families, then get blamed when the fuckin' season hits and I can't control it?' he shook his head tightly. 'I ain't interested in bein' the third wheel, Leo! It's better this way and you know it.'

Leo grabs his shoulder firmly. 'No. It's not. I can't live this way, Raph … It's … I'm - _We need you. I need you._'

He's too close, Raph feels the need spread through him like a hot flush in his blood. Suddenly his heart is beating too hard, his senses are narrowing in on the one before him and he's struggling to fight that pull. His eyes dilate at the sudden rich scent heavy in the air and he takes a step towards the eldest until they're almost touching plastron to plastron. Leonardo's breath hitches, his fists clench, unclench, his head tilts slightly and his pulse beats rapidly at his throat, but he doesn't move away. For a long moment they stand that way, barely moving, barely breathing as Raph struggles against the feeling, fights the urge to claim the one before him in every possible way … and then he shudders, squeezes his eyes shut and shoves the instincts down, hammers them, buries them until the effort has him panting faintly. But he triumphs with a growl of frustration and manages to step back, sucking a deep lungful of fresh air, the heat in his blood receding as the breeze carries Leo's scent away from him.

It's over just like that.

Leo relaxes and Raph turns away, his bandanna streaming. He's got work to do.

'Raph, _please_. Stay. Don't disappear again.'

That gives him pause. Leo begging? Somethings not right, but the anger is stirring now, this is exactly what he'd wanted to avoid. He needs to get away from Leo's scent and the ache in his heart and his groin that's only getting more painful. He shook his head and turned away. Why did he have to make it so damn hard?

'Just ... leave it alone, Leo. Forget about me. It ain't worth it.'

A whisper at his ear. 'Never. I'm sorry too, Raph. I really am.'

And something cold slips around his neck and snaps closed.

At first he's just confused. It's some kind of collar but he can't get a good look, it fits too snugly to get more than half a finger underneath, and it feels weird - metallic but flexible, almost woven instead of smooth, with no obvious clasp or lock.

'_What the hell is this?_'

Leo's already putting a second collar around his own neck. It closes with an audible click and Raph starts to feel the first real panic. This has Donnie written all over it.

'I said what the fuck _is_this, Leo?' he snarls, dragging hard at the metal. It's an inch wide and doesn't give at all as he wrenches at it in fury, finding it difficult to get a good grip.

Leo looks up calmly, the silvery metal gleaming around his neck like it's been painted on and his eyes are sad. 'It's something Don invented. You won't be able to get it off and right now you won't be able to go more than 10 metres from mine.'

Raphael rounded on him in blazing fury. 'Who the _hell_do you think you are, Leo? This some kind of fucking punishment? Screw you, I don't have time for this bullshit! I got a job to do.'

He turned and stalked away, but at ten metres a warning tingle emits from the collar. When he looks back, eyes narrowed dangerously, Mikey and Don are standing with Leo and he realises how much of a setup this has been from the beginning. He takes a moment to pin Don with a look of blistering contempt and the olive turtle has the grace to look away guiltily.

'C'mon Raph. Just talk to us, huh?' Mikey calls uncertainly.

Raph ignored him, enraged beyond belief.

_Let's just see just how strong this thing is._

Three more steps and the collar is prickling uncomfortably. He sets his shoulders and keeps walking until the pain's so fierce his eyes are watering. Another few steps and he's gritting his jaw and struggling to breathe as sweat starts to form on his face from the intensity of the current ... and he's never been this angry before ... never felt so god-damn _betrayed_in his entire life.

Enraged, he keeps moving until blue light crackles up into his vision on a wave of excruciating pain and everything disappears.

* * *

><p>It isn't easy watching Leo's reaction to Raph but Don already knew it would happen this way. This isn't just an emotional reaction, it's also a biological one and soon enough he'll have to face the very real pull Raph's biochemistry has on them all. It's a sacrifice he's willing to make, one he regrets not making earlier.<p>

When the collar goes on, he knows Leo failed to talk Raphael into staying. As expected their stubborn, hotheaded brother stalks away, not truly believing they could be so devious. Don can tell the moment it truly starts to hurt because Leo flinches at the warning buzz in the matching pair. It won't hurt Leo … but it's a clear sign that Raph is experiencing what the collar is capable of inflicting. When amber eyes turn on him, bright with fury and disbelief, Don can't find it within himself to meet them for more than a few moments.

Surely Raph will stop? He's got to realise it will only get worse. Mike whimpers uncertainly when Raph takes another step, then another, until he's almost staggering away from them. Then Leo's collar makes a low beep and the emerald turtle makes a strangled noise and crumples to the ground. They race to his side and find him completely unconscious, pulse thudding rapidly at his throat.

'Damn, Donnie.' Michelangelo whispers. 'What did it do to him?'

Don helps Mikey lift their brother into a sitting position and ignores Leo's unhappy eyes.

'It's just a low-calibrated shock, Mikey. He'll be fine when he wakes up, and if he wasn't so stubborn it wouldn't have happened. He chose this.' He tells them, tries to tell _himself_.

But Leo isn't running from the truth anymore. The eldest sighs, disgust in his eyes and touches Raph's jaw gently. The collar gleams back at him, the skin beneath it flushed red and angry.

'No. _We_chose this.'

They can't deny it.

TBC

* * *

><p>Well, I've been so busy with end of year projects I haven't had time to do anything for ages. For any who follow me - you'll find I'm much more active on Deviant Art these days. It's much easier to update there and there is a very active and wonderful TMNT community there.<p>

This is just something fun and low pressure - a bit of an excuse for smuttyness.

I wanted to try something a little different from my usual style. Holidays soon ... expect updates. =D

Part Two - Coming Soon.


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